April Showers

It's midnight...I should be in bed now...I actually was planning on going to bed, but I decided to glance through my daily blogs and again, no one posted. I felt like posting for a second and here I am. I was sitting in the car from work today and it was raining pretty hard. It felt pretty relaxing...I think it was the first hard rainfall in a while...Felt good, wish I was driving by myself though, that would have been better, but I was...I guess still am dead tired and didn't wanna drive. Last night, I was driving though. After dropping off Lee, I drove home and it was snowing. I thought it meant that more snow was underway, but this rainfall looks like a transition from winter to spring. It felt good driving in the snow though...I wasn't paying much attention and the bus in front of me went into an emergency stop...In the middle of freaking Deerfoot! Dumbass bus driver. I thought of being patient and not passing the bus before we got on the highway and when we hit it, it stops right in front of me. A little dangerous much? Yea, I swore a couple of times and pulled myself back onto the highway, it wasn't too bad. And then I blanked out some more until I got home when I drove right pass my house even though I pressed the garage door -.-''. What the hell was I thinking about hey? Gebus, I'ma die one day because of my idiocy.

Ng was talking to me about grad today...It bugged the shit outta me because he knew how to push my buttons...I don't even know why it felt so weird. He asked me if I was asking Lee to grad...I didn't really answer him. Then he said that I probably did something like, "go with her only if she didn't have anyone else to go with"..."To make it less awkward." And I guess a part of me did feel that and the fact that he pointed it out, made me feel so stupid. I know I shouldn't let it bug me because I wanted to. I have to admit, I thought it might be weird and awkward if I asked her, but that's because of all the history that's there. I've actually been thinking about asking her to grad since sometime last year. I just want to because she was my first relationship. We've been through hell and back together. Capping it off with the high school graduation would be a nice way of summing everything up. I guess in some ways, she has been my "high school sweetheart"...At least that's what I think. I was pretty stoked when she agreed to go with me though...I did think she would probably go with someone else...Haha, I actually got a little impatient because I didn't want anyone else to ask her before I did...Yea a little selfish of me, but what can you do...It'll be fun, hopefully it'll be as memorable as it is for me as it will be for you.

On the other hand, I'm leaving for Toronto in a few months. Got accepted and accepted the offer. I'm really excited yet kinda sad...There are a few things I'll miss about Calgary, but there'll be someone to look forward to being with in Toronto. It's pretty exciting for me to think about it...I mean it's been so long, it's kind of like a dream. I'm hoping everyday that I'll get in the same residency as her so we'll be able to spend some time together because since we're not in the same faculty, and university will be really busy, it'll be a lot easier to find time to hang out if we were in the same residence. So I'm basically going with what she wants xP. I don't really mind where I live, so any place she chooses will be a good one. Hadi might also come to Toronto...Nourian too...It'll be pretty cool if they did. Won't be too lonely in the big city of Toronto. Although many things will change in University...

Okay, I'm getting really tired and my thoughts are becoming very unorganized...I'm going to go to bed because I'm dying here. I'll post some more tomorrow about 1 - My shitty ass day at work, 2 - My shitty ass attitude towards badminton and 3 - My confrontations with a couple of girls -.-''. *sigH* Why is it that the girls I like don't like me back, and the girls that I don't like, like me?? I feel bad...And then people like Du call me a heart breaker...Which is not true! I don't screw with people's emotions! Anyway, *Passes out*
Secret #23: Do I love you? Yes I do...