Busy --> Bear

Damn...It's been so long since I've last posted something of actual content. It's been so busy lately. I didn't think grade 12 would be so bad, but guess what...It is. It's good though, all these things keeping me occupied keeps me from thinking too much about the superficial things that life so generously dishes out one after another. I've started on everything a little bit though...So I'm doing a little better making useful time. Hopefully in a week or two, I'll be done with applying for University and I can concentrate on doing my I.A. and E.E...Hmm...If I play my cards right, I might even be able to finish them before the deadlines! School...Work...Extracurricular...I'll be able to manage everything hopefully. There are still a lot of time that I spend shitting around so there's still hope xP.

On another topic, Hamlet's been pretty interesting. The outlook on life is very interesting. I think if I had a best friend, it'd probably be Hamlet...Except I'd teach him to speak normal English because I can't understand that "art" all that well. Haha....But seriously, what is the point of life? No matter what you do, you'll still end up dead eventually. Yet everyday, a lot of people whine about it, cry about it, but they don't do anything about it. Rather they mope and sulk hoping to get the attention that they think will make them feel better. Which works a lot of the times. Everyone wants to be accepted, to be wanted, needed because it's what gives us a purpose in life. It allows us to think that we're worth something and that our existence is not in vain. It's a pretty good reason, I think. Fair, true, justified, but there are better ways to prove your existence is worth something other than sulking. Do something with your life, change something to make things better, depend on YOURSELF. Instead of wasting your time trying to fit in with the "popular" group, concentrate on what's important right now...How about school? How about family? People that try so hard to be accepted just ticks me off...Useless fools. To be truthful, I've sulked a lot in the past...Sometimes to get the attention that will make me feel better, but there were other times that I just couldn't help myself. But that's how I learned...I realized one day that it doesn't make things better. It's good to know that there are people who care, but in this life time, it really depends on myself. Make everyday productive, make every hour useful, make every minute count, make every second of your life happy; because if there's no point in life, might as well spend a pointless life content and happy.

Depending on myself has occasionally given me the feeling of loneliness...I'm slowly getting used to it though. There are those few who I know I can turn to when it's needed and that's all that I need, to know that they're there. The general feeling of that comfort alone is enough for me to be able to move on with life. I think I've been able to move past the idea of being accepted, which took me only about 17 years, but none the less feels good. I guess because I'm human, I can't stop caring...There are many times when I see things happen and have the biggest urge to ask them what's wrong, but I force myself out of it. It's not my business...Haha...Come to think of it, everyone seem to have at least one or two other people they can turn to and a couple of days later, they're back to themselves again and at least in appearance they seem better. Some people might say, appearance doesn't show anything, but I say otherwise. Who can really do a sincere smile when they don't feel a little bit happy? Who can bring out the slightest true laughter when they're drowning in their sorrows? So really, when people do smile and laugh, there is happiness inside somewhere and the more they show on the outside, the more it reflects their feelings inside. I probably don't care as much as I "should", but meh, spin me around and slap me twice, it probably won't change anything, but at least it'll be fun while you take your frustrations out =P.

One last thing...Busy...Busy...Busy...I think I still care about her a lot...The only difference now is...The disappointments and hurts now balances it out so that I still will not do anything...Busy...Busy...Busy. Peace v-.-