Yea...not in a very good mood at the moment. Past few days have been pretty shitty and stressful. It's been bugging me for a while now that UT hasn't sent me anything so I decided to look through my packages again to see what's going on, when school starts and such. I also needed the date to apply for some student loans. So as I went through this booklet they gave us, a few days ago, my eyes glance across an "enrollment confirmation" section. For the longest time now, I thought I've done everything necessary to note that I've accepted my enrollment in UT. Seems like everything was a green light until I read this and curiously, while being a little scared, I went through the UT website to find the "enrollment confirmation" place they're talking about. I don't know who the hell designed the stupid ass website, but it's not there. I mean, it could be that they took off a quick link since it's past the deadline, but it's no where to be found throughout the damn website. I found this out on Friday night, so I can't call them until tomorrow...so since then I've been freaking out, wondering if they actually have me accepted and saved me a spot in their school. Damn it all! At that time, I was seriously pissed and scared...but there was nothing I could do at that moment right? So being me...I kinda prepared to brush it aside for the weekend and just try to enjoy my summer as it is. Sounds fair? Yea...So Saturday was okay...I worked for most of it and it was a pretty normal day. Although the thought of that kept lingering on my mind, it didn't bother me too much. The night went pretty well too. I talked to Chi, (no you ignorant white people, it's not Chi as in Tai Chi. Pronounced very different, so I wasn't speaking with my inner self) and it was really nice. Her birthday's coming up soon so I decided to give her an early birthday shout. I ended up talking with her until 3 in the morning v.v''. It was fun though, I don't really remember what we talked about, but she made me show her what Canada looks like at night with my webcam...I found that humorous because Calgary's night life is no where near as exciting as China's...especially if you live in Cranston. Where? Yea...I wouldn't know where it was either if I didn't live here. But yea, that cheered me up and I went to bed with a smile on my face.
As I woke up, my mind was all about my IB marks. Today's the day that they come out and I was actually pretty excited to see what I got. So I got up and the first thing I did was go on the website and check. My smile turned into a straight line, then into a frown. 6 in Chemistry...that's okay. 5 in History, well that was expected. 4 in French, I couldn't care less. And then...English...4...What the fuck? Yea...freaking 4 in English. Are you joking me?! How could I have not passed?! How could I have gotten...!! The biggest thing that made the whole shit hit the fan was my conditional acceptance to UT...based on my IB marks. "At least 28 and no less than 5 in pre-requisite courses." NO LESS THAN 5! I got a 4!! THAT'S LESS THAN 5!! First thing that pissed me off was that it didn't tell me what the hell my pre-requisite courses were...but it's English so I have to assume it is right? But yea...holy shit, when I saw that it was like a giant anvil falling on me. First, I don't confirm my enrollment, then I don't pass my condition. What now...am I gonna be slapped in the face and be told that I can't go to University for the next year? Fuck...I don't know what to do. I stood in the shower for about 20 minutes asking myself how this could have happened. I studied so bloody hard for those damn tests. I even studied...even STUDIED for English. Not a lot, but any study for English is something right? I mean...how the hell do you study for English? Yea...I don't know...all I can think of is that I did a complete shit job on my World Lit papers or I really messed up my Oral Exam. Whatever it is I did, I wish I can turn back time right now and do it differently. So basically in a daze, I went to work...expectantly, I misengraved something and just so luck has it, it's not one of our own products. Now no one in the city has another one and a whole mess is created. I don't really give a shit to be honest, but that did not help my mood for the day. Now I sit here and don't even want to go look on MSN because half the people on my list is talking about their marks and it seems like I'm the only one who fucked myself over.
I don't know what to do...just hoping I can call tomorrow and everything will be sorted out...there's nothing much I can do. *sigH*...*SIGH*...I kinda want to talk to someone...anyone...kinda want some sympathy and a slap in the face...someone to tell me how much of an idiot I am and then tell me things will be alright...but yea...I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately...can't talk to anyone about "feelings" and such...well there is one person, but...yea, when I talk to people, it's just about fun stuff and it's cool. I guess it just means it's not bothering me THAT much? I don't know.
My mom and sister just came back from China! I got a CD and a new shirt XD. Seems like the house just got a lot brighter with those two back...let's hope it stays that way...
Secret #33: Project is complete...couldn't do everything I wanted, but I hope you'll like it =).
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