Dreams to Reality

Been feeling like posting something recently and I guess today's the day. Things have been okay recently. There are a lot of things that I should be happy about, but I'm not sure if I'm getting the feeling of "happiness". Talked to Ahmad about it yesterday and no matter how much I think about it, everything is just..."Pretty okay".

Recently, I've decided that I wanted one of my closest friends back in my life. For so long I haven't spoken to her and slowly, I'm beginning to have more and more faith in her again. She told me that she will do something and those words keep repeating over and over again in my head. I want, so desperately, for her to make those words come true. I can honestly say now that I believe she can, but none of this matters unless she believes in it too. My wise manager said to me, "People can only change if they want to change." and I agree completely except I have to add, "People will only want to change if they have a reason to change." I think she's gone through enough crap since the day I met her and I think she wants to change for herself...But I can't help but hope that she will do this because somewhere, in the back of her mind, I'm also one of those reasons.

I hung out with her today...For an hour or so. It was refreshing, to say the least. Even after everything that's happened, I still feel most comfortable around her. I notice this, especially during silences, when I don't feel like I have to say anything at all...Haha...I remember talking to Ahmad about being comfortable enough with people that those silences are not so awkward...I guess I finally can understand that feeling. Afterwards, I went KTV with Du, Piao and Cheung. It was pretty fun...Du can sing really well. I hope she can gain more confidence with her singing through this experience. She has really nice vocals and it'd be a shame if she kept it all to herself. It was really nice hanging out with Du though. For once we weren't constantly arguing about everything, but rather, just having fun...

I spent today with two people that are somewhat complete opposites of each other, but both are very important in my life...I told them both that I was moving...I'll never forget how Du reacted...She got angry at me like in Japanese Animes. I've been reading a lot of manga lately so...I guess it's affected me a little bit, but none the less...It was adorable. The other response was also extremely memorable...It was like one of my day dreams coming true...The two of us sat by the frozen lake chatting and when I mentioned that I was moving, we sat there in silence for a while until she asked, "back to China?" In those few moments, I felt as if there were only two of us in the world and only that moment mattered. I never felt something so dream like...Of course I had to tell them that I was just moving houses and not actually "away". But I do want to, to some extent...About 5 - 6 months of school left...How am I going to say goodbye to these people...How am I going to be okay with it...I don't want to think about the future, but this is where I'm at right now...

Ah well...It's late and I think I'm gonna go...Do something...So, until next time...Later days =P.
Secret#11: My little sister...Not my baby sister, but my little sister...I hope she's alright.