It feels weird...but my 8 days in Vancouver is coming to an end. I don't want it to...for many reasons, which I will explain later. I don't have much time to post as I'm getting ready to head out for one last day with my friends, but I have a lot to say on my chest. For the first time in a while, I am hesitant in writing everything. Partly because I don't want it to be true and partly because of privacy. I have found a large respect for privacy, in particular the privacy between two people, during this week.Shit...sorry to leave this as it is, but I will be back later to do a new post. Peace it out kids v-.-''
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All right kids, so I'm finally back from my trip to Vancouver. It's pretty late right now, but screw it, I wanna post something. Sleep can wait...besides, I enjoy listening to music late at night and just tap away at my keyboards putting my thoughts together. Vancouver was pretty amazing, to say the least. The weather, the city life and best of all, the friends. It all came and went way too fast. Feels like I'm still back there...it should be almost midnight back there...I would probably be staring at my friend play private server Maplestory right about now. It's actually quite entertaining...When he makes three 120 level characters in one day...within the span of a few hours xD. Lamibao's a cool guy. Picked me up from the airport, which was quite funny because I spent about an hour looking for him hehe...talk about excellent planning hey? Yea, my absentmindedness made things interesting in this trip. Have you ever called up someone after seven years of not seeing them, meet up and just have a good time as if nothing ever happened? No? Well, next time you get the chance, do it because it's the single best feeling in the world when you hear the person on the other phone say, "Jak? No...Jak? No way...Jak?!" repeatedly until they convince themselves to come out and actually witness it themselves xP. Normally I would go through the days one by one until I'm fully sick and tired of thinking back and go to bed, but tonight...today, I'm going to just write whatever comes to mind because most likely, it's the important things that matter. BTW, I didn't buy many gifts in Vancouver, so uh...it's not like I didn't think about it, it's just...it's just...yea, I didn't think about it. Common guys, it's Vancouver, you want a souvenir, drive there and back on a weekend. Not being an ass...just being a lazy one xP.
Okay, let's see, meeting up with my buddies from way back when was very interesting. Lamibao and I met up with Li, Chen and Choi on the first day there. We played some hoops and they took me through the new and improved Metropolis Mall, which I have to add, is now the second largest mall in Canada (my friends have permanently implanted that fact in my head). It's a pretty sweet mall actually, I mean if it had a roller coaster and a swimming pool, it'll definitely be bigger than West Ed. Anyway, the guys just hung out and they were all pretty stoked that I was back. We caught up with some stories and the most hilarious I must say would be when Li almost got jumped. The person that approached him, rather short and wide as my friend described him, told Li to give him his iPod threatening him with a "Shank". Li thoroughly confused by the situation, turns to Choi and asks, "What's a 'shank'?" The only result of that scenario was a funny story and an embarrassing moment. Mind you, the person that was doing the threatening was an elementary school kid. Ghetto Burnaby huh? Moving on, I hung out with them some more on a couple more occasions. Li took me to North Vancouver, which I've never been to before, and we roamed around a market very similar to that of the ones you see back in China, except you can't haggle xD. It was very interesting, we bought a "beaver tail" snack and it was actually pretty good. No, it wasn't an actual beaver tail you ignorant idiot xP. We went to watch Indiana Jones (I do not recommend this movie, especially if you haven't seen the prequels) and Li lost his wallet...for a short period of time. We went around back and forth to the theater and finally the person there found it. It was quite entertaining listening to him cuss and insult himself xP. Aside from that, it was a fun day shitting around North Van and roaming around downtown Vancouver. OH! That reminds me! Downtown Vancouver is freaking sweet! They got magicians doing shows! Randomly! It's actually quite amazing. I wish Calgary was like that, then there would actually be things to do...anyway, not time for depressing talk yet. Yea, so I've always wanted to watch live magic and who would have thought that my first time actually witnessing magic would be on the streets of downtown Vancouver?! It's awesome though, if you ever go there, go watch, the people are friendly and the magicians are funny as hell. The streets are SO crowded too, good stuff all around, much much fun, anyway, you get the idea. So that was a pretty good day, but idiot me forgot to bring my damn camera so Li took a bunch of pictures...Note to self: Ask for pictures.
Hmm, let's see...well I'm just going to start another paragraph because I think the previous one is getting long...see there's no actual logic in this post...which is slightly bothersome, but meh, who cares. Anyway, as many of you already know, I stayed at Lamibao's...if you don't...well, now you do. His parents were super nice. I basically ate all my meals there and they cooked a lot of Filipino food, which surprisingly, tastes a lot like Chinese food! Yea, I know, let your jaws drop now. The food was great, I think I gained a few pounds there, although his aunt said I lost weight...crazy people. Yea, hanging out with Lamibao was pretty chill. We caught up on everything, played some Magic for old time sakes and he taught me now to play guitar! Yea people, I can play chords now. Be amazed and I know almost one song...haha. Oh yea, and I can read tabs! Let the applause commend. Now that we all know I can kinda play guitar, someone get me one >.>. *Looks at Du* =). Yea, everything turned out pretty sweet at Lamibao's. I think choosing him as a host was a good idea xP. I slept on the top of a bunk bed and it was actually really comfortable. Slept at around 11 every night, woke up at around 10 every morning...*thinks back*, the feeling of not worrying about anything is pretty sweet. I bought a bracelet in North Van when I was wandering around with Li and I ended up giving it to Lamibao. It was actually a pretty sweet ass bracelet if I do say so myself. It's too hard to explain so...pretend I didn't say anything xD. I bought the Lamibao family some flowers as a token of thanks and I hope Lamibao will make some time during the summer to head up here. It may be boring as hell, but he's got a little friend that he wants to visit up in Edmonton so I think it'll be cool if I took him there some how xP. It'll be pretty fun.
Other than hanging out with my buddies, I watched Iron Man and also went to do some shopping. Iron Man was definitely worth the money. It's a brilliant movie and I'll recommend it to everyone and anyone right now. Go watch it you stupid fools, if you haven't already...if you have...go watch it again you stupid fool. And yes, I went shopping, picked out clothes by myself, which I'm proud of, you guys will all see it soon so be amazed. The shopping is mostly motivated by Fang...She's a very fashionable person, as well as having many other amazing character traits.
Okay, I think that covers a lot of the things that I did. Things that I would tell you guys out there just to make you jealous and show how much of a hole Calgary is xD. Sorry for offending everyone who grew up here and loves Cow Town to the fullest...it's just, for me, I don't like it here xP. Moving on, it's time for me to talk to myself...think to myself.
WARNING: The following may contain sappy and sad content. Viewer's discretion is advised.
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Okay...so as I wrote before, I found a new respect for privacy. This is why I am struggling to write everything I want to write right now. Somethings I want to just say it, but at the same time, I want to keep it to myself...so I think a different approach of writing will be done for this segment.
Looking back on everything that's happened during the past week and a bit, every moment I was there, I thought about her. "Why did you come back Jak?" "Why are you going back Jak?" Most of the time I would reply to see my friends...one last time before heading our separate ways and that's what I did. The actual reason...the main reason for this trip of mine was to find something out...about someone as well as about myself. I find myself a little different when I'm online compared to real life. A little bit, but there's a difference none the less. I expect it's the same for everyone, to some degree. It's different when you're face to face with someone and after such a long time of not seeing the people that I talk to online, I want to know if my feelings are true. Sometimes, there are people that affects your life like no other. Every step of the way, they will be there. To me, this person resides in my destination for my little vacation. When I first saw her and spent time with her, I found out a lot about her. Many things that I didn't expect and few things that I would have never thought I would be able to deal with. But the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted to spend time with her. To me, she's a diamond in the dust. To me, she's the one person in my life that I care enough about to randomly leave everything behind for a week just to see her again. There are things that she says that I always keep in mind. Little things...little things that usually doesn't matter, but I want to remember because it's something that she enjoys or likes. When I'm walking around by myself, these little things would pop into my head and I would look for it, sometimes smile because it reminds me of her. In the past, whenever I had feelings for a girl, I would be skeptical about telling them because of the fear for rejection. Most time, I would give up...let it go and move on with life. I've always thought that it's the best thing to do because it'll be easier for the girl, make them happier and if I like them, their happiness should come first, right? Makes sense to me. With her, I wasn't sure if I really liked her or not...I wanted to confirm my curiosity and I just started liking her more. From everything that she said about relationships mixed together with my little theory on relationships, I finally decide to put everything aside and ask her to be my girlfriend. Well, dreams are made to be broken as she doesn't feel the same for me. Through past experience, I found that most girls would not date a friend, afraid of losing the friendship if the relationship doesn't work out. I dunno about other guys, but I don't agree with this at all. Life is a learning experience and friends are great for growth, but relationships provide a different type of bond that can allow a person to grow in a different direction. If the friendship falls apart just because the relationship doesn't work out, it says a lot about the friendship to begin with. To be honest, for the longest time I followed the saying, "By turning a friend into a girlfriend/boyfriend, you end up losing a friend." But really, the bond between two people can only be broken if the people involved makes it happen. If both really want to be friends, how can it not workout in the end? This is one of the reasons why I want her to be my girlfriend...because I know we can work out anything. The care, I think, is mutual and if both parties care about each other enough, one will tend to be lenient about the situation and be open to suggestions. Also, I believe that she can help me grow as well as learn about myself. When she said no, it hurt a lot. A lot, a lot. I couldn't understand it and many times I've thought about saying the two words and just letting it go. I know that it'll be easier on her if I just said I'm going to let it go, but for the first time in my life, I refuse to give up...because I know I can make her happier. I'm confident around her...I'm sincere when I'm with her...Most of all, I'm myself. Even though I like her more than just a friend, we are still very close friends. She's very accepting to this idea and it shows her maturity as she doesn't let this get in terms of our friendship. I hope she can still come to me with all her problems because I will treat every single one of those problems like my own and help her through it. Although I know she wants me to move on and find someone that likes me for my own good, I honestly don't want to. Opportunities don't come everyday and when you find something that you truly treasure, you grab hold of it and fight for it. Furthermore, I know I have a lot of competition on my hands, but I'm confident that I can make her happier than anyone else. I don't know where this confidence comes from because I've never had it before, but I know...I just know. I'm tired of looking around when someone as special as her is right in front of me. I'm tired of wondering if girls are compatible with me when I've already found someone that thinks so similar to me. I'm not going to push myself to let go anymore. If one day for some reason, the feeling goes away, so be it, but I've accepted that I do truly have feelings for her...and it's okay. I'm going to prove to her that I can be an amazing boyfriend. I'm going to show her that I am the best for her. I don't think this is one of my "life long forever" fantasies either because I'm willing to accept that it might not work out, but as long as I like her, I'll win her heart over. I know somewhere in her heart, there's a spot for me...I just have to prove to her that I deserve that spot. I know it's a big commitment, but really, what's the hurry? I'm going to follow what I believe this time...my own choice. I may be back in Calgary, but my heart's with the little crystal rabbit that'll hopefully always be near her.
Secret #26: "You are my Superwoman" --- Next post: Gary Cao
1 comment:
He's alive!
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