Nostalgia

So today was a pretty okay day...Each day that passes, I feel like not talking more though...*sigH* I dunno what's wrong with me...Maybe it's just because I'm tired, who knows. Sometimes I feel like I should have more friends, should be a little more social around everything that's going on. I have no good excuse to not to, but I guess I'm just a loser like that sometimes =P...Maybe one day I'll get the motivation to go up to someone and actually start a conversation...Haha...Yea right hey?

Anyway, there was a reason for my post title to be "Nostalgia"...Yes there is a point...Stfu to all you who doubt my sense of logic! Okay, moving on...I talked to Fang last night...Until 1 in the morning. I just started talking to her again, recently, and it was really nice to say the least. Although I haven't seen her for...Lets see...Grade 5...Grade 12...Around 7 years now, every time I talk to her, the gate of memories open up and all the moments that we spent together floods my mind. Every time I talk to her, I want to go back to Vancouver and see her again. I dunno why...I know a lot has changed in the past 7 years, but no matter how much time has passed, we always manage to hit it off like we've been talking to each other everyday...Maybe it's because she has a lot to say to me since we don't talk all the time and that's also why I have a lot to ask, but even so, I'm surprised at myself that this friendship hasn't gone to shits even after all this time. Out of all the relationships I've had, I think the friendship between Fang and I was the only one that's been able to come above the distance. Haha...Come to think of it, every year, I would make an effort into remembering her birthday, just so we would talk at least once a year...

I remember when I first met her in grade 4...I remember thinking she was one of the prettiest girls in my school and would look away with the reddest face every time we made eye contact. I don't even remember how I managed to start actually talking to her, but I do remember that the summer of 2001 was one of the best summers ever...I would go to her house almost everyday and play that stupid truth or dare Jinga...We never went out...I wish we had...I still sometimes wish that we can. She was the only girl that I've ever said, "I love you" to...I know, I know...Too young to blah blah blah...Even if I was an immature little brat...thinking back on it I don't regret saying it because I did feel that way...I think I still do from time to time.

I want to see her again...This summer maybe...Maybe even before that. I hope I'll be able to finally talk to her face to face after all these years because who knows how long it will be before we have the chance to see each other again...She makes me smile, but time after time, I have to snap out of the paradise that develops in my head and realize the hard cold facts that I'm in Calgary...I attend Henry Wise Wood...Maybe that's why I don't feel like talking more and more now...The realization of this always takes away what I want the most...To stay in that paradise...Perhaps just a little while longer...
Secret #3: I don't want to see her...I don't want to hear her...The truth is: It still hurts *sigH*