Nerves

It's been a while since I've posted...and honestly, nothing much has been happening in my life. Well, maybe things have been going on, but recently, I feel like I'm on auto pilot and everything that happens kind of just happens, but nothing really affects anything. I've been basically doing everything based on instinct...and really...it's pretty boring =P.

Well, first thing's first, I got a new laptop. An HP model and I must say, I'm enjoying it so far. After many years of using Dell, it's nice to get something new. Also, since I've never owned a piece of electronic that's worth more than 100 dollars, it makes it a little bit more special =P. Anyway, it'll be nice to take some decent looking notes on computer that I'll actually read rather than the gibberish that I write. My writing isn't exactly aesthetically pleasing so it might help me with my study. I kind of wanted a Mac, but since my dad paid for it, I didn't really want to say much about it. It's cool though, can't complain haha. This is my first post on this laptop and it feels nice to be sitting back and relaxed on my bed with the computer on my lap, doing as I please. I think the freedom of it all is what makes me like it haha.

Alright, so I've been working quite a bit lately. 5 days a week...and to be honest, I really don't like working with one of my co-workers. She's supposed to fill in for my manager, but slacks off enough for all three of us...especially when it comes to stock. But I think I'm going to soon get used to it...besides, I'm only there for one more month so whatever...just have to hang in there until the time's done. I've also been doing a shit load of misengraves lately...I don't know what's wrong with me, but it's like luck is against me. Always on the stupidest things too...*sigH* if my manger was here, I'd be getting a lot of heat, so thankfully, my reign of bad engraving is only happening when she's not here...I bet she'll have fun seeing all the misengraves when she comes back though =). Yea, so that's pretty much it about work. I have been getting along better with my other co-worker though. On Sunday, I went over to her house to watch a movie and have a few drinks. To my surprise, whiskey is actually pretty good...but the throwing up afterwards was not fun...although we did have a good laugh at that the next day =P. It's nice to have someone to talk to as a friend at work though. Thing would be very very dull without her...if that's even possible.

A while ago, I got a confirmation on my acceptance to UT. This university stuff is all too...hard to explain right now. I'm having mixed feelings about everything relating to it. A part of me is pretty excited to be going to Toronto. The new city life, the ability to be able to spend some time with Fang, and of course, the time away from parents all makes me want to go there more than ever. But as I think about it more, I often wonder if I made the right choice. After a month of calling, emailing and worrying, I finally got the little message that I wanted. As I've said before, I don't really care about which university I go to and I only have one reason that I've chosen UT over the others. Recently, this reason seems like it's so far fetched and out there that it wouldn't even matter if I went to UT. After doing everything I can to be a little closer, it feels like I'm further away than I ever was. Many times I've thought about giving up, but there haven't been a day passed that the reason hasn't crossed my mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm putting too much hope into this, doing too much in vain, but at the same time, I know if I don't go through these difficult times and keep fighting for it, I'll never find out if it was meant to be and I will end up regreting it. With mixed feelings regarding this situation, I'm pretty confused regarding all this. At the same time, it's not bothering me as if it's eating me alive...rather, it's just a thing in the back of my head and everytime I have a spare moment, I tend to think about it. There's nothing much I can do about it now and it's one of the things that I'm looking forward to experiencing once I'm at UT, but it is also one of the things that I'm scared of too =P.

Hadi came to Southcentre today and it was nice to see him again. We chilled for a bit during my break and to think, just a month from now, we'll be heading our separate ways. I'm planning to go to Shakespeare in the Park with him and Du on Saturday so that'll be fun. On another note, I hung out with Ren about a week ago and it was really good seeing him again. He's heading off to The States on the 10th and that was probably the last time I'm going to see him for a while. He's a good guy...one of the only people that I made an effort of keeping in touch with even after we went to different schools. I wish him luck in his future endeavors and hope that he'll never stop laughing that stupid laugh of his xD. It's pretty contagious.

I think that'll be all for today. I think I'm going to try to post more from now on...hopefully with some structure. After seeing everyone finally starting to post again, it kind of got me syked in doing so too. Anyway, I'll be back and posting within the next couple of days. Until then...later days =P.