Finally

Okay! Like I said in my last post, I was gonna post something soon and I guess today's the day. A lot happened today...Well it's midnight now, so I guess yesterday xP.

First, I gotta say, the Super bowl was a very satisfying experience. The "Perfect Patriots" never came to be as the Brady Bunch went down to the other half of the Manning Bros. Inc. Just shows how far resiliency can carry someone. The underdogs, New York Giants, took the show on the biggest stage of them all, playing an almost perfect game in order to take down the 18-0 Patriots. I say that's pretty impressive. Kinda gave me some hope in pursuing what I want...Not to give up and reach for the "goal". The thing that, at the moment, I want so badly, that every time that I picture it not happening, it feels like my heart breaking into a million pieces...

So, I went to watch Lee's speech performance today...To be honest, the reason I went was because, oddly, selfishly, whateverly you wanna call it, I imagined that maybe if I went, it could have made her performance better than usual. Silly thought, but none the less, I put aside my EE and got on the bus for an one and a half hour trip to Mount Royal College. In the end, it was worth it. She performed brilliantly, resiting the verses for Beatrice from Shakespeare with emotion and passion. It made Shakespeare's work so much more than what I had thought before. More humane, more...Real for me. Like always, she was hard on herself in the end, but honestly, I thought she was great, everyone else thought she was great. If you read this, give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it. Her mom drove me home afterwards...Everything seems a little more relaxed now. I find her mom entertaining and for some odd reason, easy to relate and speak to. Usually, I'm not good with parents, but I guess like mother like daughter, it's easy to have some laughs with them...Feel natural I suppose.

The year is slowly winding down. With each passing day, the bittersweet feeling of departure sets in. I dunno, I know I want to leave this hell hole, leave everything that's happened to me so far, but the attachments that has been set in place between those couple close friends will be hard to give up...Going to have to eventually and it'll be just like all the other times before, with exception of one. We'll all slowly grow apart, eventually end up talking with each other every few years, maybe never. It's the reality. Distance does horrible things to relationships, but in the end, I guess it's the good times together that really matter...

I can finally say that I've moved on...I won't lie, it's not a complete disappearance of feelings, but the it's the closest I've gotten to date. I'll be able to see her as just a friend and be content with it soon...I guess I just realized that it's not meant to be. Being honest with myself, I think a lot of it has to be the idea that I can't have what I want. But that special person in my life, the one that always has been there for me, has made me realize loving someone should be both ways...I think I've always known that, but now, I can finally see the line between love and friendship. I can understand it a little better at least.

Going back to "goals" for a moment, I found a goal lately. I'm more determined than ever to get into UT, and my motivation is for that special someone in my life. I don't really know how to express what I feel in words, but no matter what time it is, no matter where we are, it just seems that whenever we talk, I'm myself. I always found that so challenging, to be myself without caring, but with her, I can. Maybe it's because we have so much in common. It's a different type of commonality than I have with Du. With Du, we have common goals and common interest, but the way we approach those goals are very different, maybe that's why we argue so much. On the other hand, I think the arguing just made our relationship a little closer, haha...Okay back to the topic...Wow...It's been a really personal post...I wonder if...Okay back to topic! With her, our commonality resides in our approach to things. We might not have similar goals and interests, but the way we look at life, the way we approach people are so similar that I think it's almost as if she can read my mind. It's just plain amazing, for a lack of better words. For the first time in months...Maybe years, I can say that I'm happy. When I think of her, I smile a little bit...A sincere smile.

Okay...I think I've written quite a bit on this post...I wanna dedicate two verses to that friend of mine though...First one is from the band, Rocket Boys...(Got this from the Anime, Beck, which by the way, Du is watching now, w0oot.) One line in the lyric really shows how I feel.

"Follow me...Baby, I won't let you go if you believe in me."

Second one is one that I thought up last night when I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. I dunno why, it just came to my mind all of a sudden and I decided that it didn't sound too bad. (I think I might write a song based on it later...If I ever find the ability to write nice lyrics.) Oh, by the way, it's in Chinese haha...

"七年前，睁开眼，你出现在我的面前。。。七年后，闭上眼，看见你那张微笑的脸。"

Okay, I'm pretty sure I missed something that I had in mind, but I guess I can't get to it now. Maybe on my next post though xP...Until next time...Later days =P.
Secret #15: Fang...I can't wait to see you again...No matter what, I'll find a way.