Growing Up

Today was a fast day...12 hours have passed since I woke up and it feels like a blind of an eye. Yes, I did indeed wake up at 6:45 today because I had to book badminton courts at Talisman. Went to play with Hong, Kwan and Lo. First time playing all winter break and it feels as good as ever. Badminton is still one thing that I go to, to rest my thoughts and it's all the better when you're playing with someone who can pull shit from his ass that I can't even dream of...(Yea yea, shame on you dirty minded people.) Lo's a funny kid though, we played "target practice"...Hehehe...Maybe I'll show the badminton club how it's done when it resumes again xD.

After getting out at about 12:30, I met with Collins and we came to my house to watch Ratatouille. Awesome movie, even second time around. Regrettably, the version that I downloaded wasn't as good in quality as the version that I initially downloaded, but it was good enough to see everything and enjoy it. Drove her home afterwards. Surprisingly enough, my parents didn't question me at all when I said I was gonna drive her home. Only thing that I would want to change is the time it took to drive back home. Traffic was surprisingly good, so even driving at speed limit, it took just 15 minutes getting home. I'd rather spend some more time in the car...It's relaxing.

About a week has past since Winter Break began. I really want to talk to Fang, but she doesn't seem to be online that often recently. Kinda miss her, but missing someone is pretty pointless unless the feeling is returned. Hopefully I can get a chance to talk to her before school starts again...I dunno what I want to say, or why I even want to talk to her, but just a feeling lingering in me at the moment. Oh, also engraved the plate for Hadi's pocket watch box. Took me a freaking hour to engrave it because of its stupid shape...But it turned out pretty sexy, hopefully I can give it to him soon. Now I'm tired as hell and want to pass out, but I have to wait for my sister's cake to be dismissed before doing anything that would cause me to become unconscious. So I'll finish off with one last idea in my head that spurred this urge to post something...

December 28, 2007...My sister turns 7. Also have to note the 18th for Kramer and all the best to her journey as an adult. I was about my sister's age when I came to Canada. I'm getting mixed feelings regarding the passage of time through these 10 years of my life, but I definitely can see how much I've grown in every aspect of my life. None the less, I'll still be growing up for the rest of my life and I can only hope my growth will be towards a positive direction. I will also, to my best extent, guide my little sister so that she can make a little bit less mistakes, get hurt a little less as she grows up. 10 years from now she'll be the age that I am now...I believe she'll make the right choices for her life journey, but just in case she strays a little, I can't help but watch over her from time to time...
Secret #6: Starting to let go...Starting to move on...Starting to stop thinking about her.

Sound of Silence

Christmas Day! Hurrah...Kinda...I woke up finding a little soap snowman on my bedside table...It was from my sister. Although it smelled kinda bad, it made me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. She got a lot of presents this year. Has been wearing her giant pink monkey PJs all day...Haha...She's kinda fun to be around from time to time I guess.

Anyway, I'm losing my voice...Or rather, getting on my "sexy voice" xD. Feel kinda shitty though...Hopefully tomorrow will be better...Must go to work to get money on Thursday...XD. Haha...Until next time...Later days =P.

Last Minute Shoppers

Woo...So it's been a while I've posted anything and that's because I've been busy as hell serving idiot Christmas shoppers for 3 days straight...But it's been alright I 'suppose. Helped a bunch of people out, and probably made back the money I spent on Christmas presents. Haha...Today was the last day of the craziness...And I never thought "Last Minute Shoppers" actually meant last minute shoppers. This one guy got his present right at 4:59 and the mall closes at 5:00...It was intense...You'd think, being Christmas Eve, people would get their shit together and wake up early to get their gifts...Nope, the last hour of the day was the busiest of all...Which is fine because we've made our budget 9 days in a roll and I'm waiting on a huge bonus this paycheck XD.

Okay...Let's play catchup...So Friday was last day of school before winter break...A day that I've actually been looking forward to this year. Need some fucking rest of school, people, so basically life in general =P. The week prior to Christmas break was pretty fun actually. Presents, presents, presents...This year, I did actual Christmas shopping...Don't worry, I have my reasons xP. I wanted to get some going away presents for some of my close friends and since a couple of them are pretty close to Christmas, might as well get it together. I felt this Christmas was a lot more satisfying...Mainly because the gift I gave probably had a lot more thought into it than anything...I even wrapped the presents! Mind you, it was pain in the ass, but I thought it would be appropriate =P. To be honest, I didn't really jump out of my pants for the presents I got, but I wasn't really expecting anything from anyone, so the presents I got from my friends were just a big bonus on top of the reactions I saw from my friends. Anyway, I got Collins and Hadi their going away presents...I could not have been happier with them. I hope years later from now, they can look at those things and think back to high school full of nostalgia. Hopefully they can remember me as someone important in their life just as I do, them. Three more going away presents to go. I've decided on one, but the other two are pretty tough...I've already begun thinking of something original that I can put on there that can reflect their relationship with me along with the gift...I think I have some in mind, but...Hmm...I should write some of these things down so when the time comes, it'll be easier...To get the presents...And to let go. As time winds down, I think saying goodbye this year will be pretty hard...Especially to these few people whom made a pretty big impact on my life...Will I say goodbye individually? How can I sum everything together into words in such a short period of time? I think about these things and there are slight instances where I don't want to leave, but...For a lack of better words, I have to.

*Break* My fucking god...I think I'm gonna cough out blood now...Water time...

Okay...Think my throat's gonna be okay for ten more minutes...Anyway, on Friday I got a puppy...Stuffed animal of course, from Ahmad. It's sooo soft! I've hugged it to sleep for two nights now...Makes me fall asleep so fast, it's insane. Although I always wake up not knowing where it is, I manage to find it in the crevices of my bed =P. It's pretty cool. Also got a 3x3 rubix cube from Campbell. I've been trying to figure how to do the first and second layer (Yea I know you all care, STFU) at the same time, and I think I've got the basics, just need to remember specifics so that it works all the time xP. Yea, these two things have kept me amused the past few days. I also have the feeling that my sister wants to steal the puppy...

Okay...We're about caught up now. Today...So today I went to work and I bumped into Collins, she was shopping with her mom and it was nice to see a friendly face, to say the least. Also saw Nourian at the store...To top the day off, I found out he was buying Sponiar his Christmas present and guess what it was...ROOT LICORICE! Hahahaha, that made me laugh. Anyway, spending Christmas Eve alone tonight...Parents went to party, didn't really feel like going with them. Too tired to go sit with some random girl by the computer for 5 hours. I'd rather do that by myself xP. I also have the HUGE urge to watch "Pursuit of Happyness" right now...Think I might download it so I can have something to do tomorrow...Very...Early...Tomorrow. Alright, I think I've said enough for one post. I'm gonna post up "Second Chance" by Faber Drive. Just a random song I had a while back and I'm really enjoying it right now. I think I'm gonna sing a Chinese song and post it up soon...Hopefully that'll go over well xP. Anyway, go find the lyrics yourself...I'm too tired and lazy to do anything tonight xP. Ah...I hate you guys...Feel bad for not posting it up...*mutters*...There you go, the damn word is hyper linked. Haha...I have a feeling that people will have a very hard time following this post...XD. Until next time...Later days =P.
Secret #5: Du, Ahmad and Lee are the last three people who I'm gonna give going away presents to...

The Notebook

Busy day of work today...As Christmas comes around, everything's getting busier...So tired...But it's nice to know that I'm doing something productive. Bought some presents today...I think about 2 more to go...And I have the presents in mind...Just dunno if I should get them...Ah well, that's for later anyway =P.

Moving on...I watched The Notebook when I got home today. It's a good movie...A lot better second time around. I almost cried...ALMOST, but I didn't. I actually wanted to cry though...I dunno why...Just a feeling. It's such a bitter sweet movie, kinda hurts. How often do you fall in love, end up with your first love, but in the end...Well I won't ruin it for those who haven't seen it. I kinda feel for the guy a little more than the girl though...Envious...Admire...For everything he's willing to do. All the sacrifices he makes...But I guess in the end, the affection that he receives back is worth it all. Even if in the end, it's in little bits and pieces...Just the fact that he knows she still loves him would keep him from giving up...Shows no matter what, love has to be both ways for two people to stay together...How true this is...How true this is...

Anyway, good movie. Still trying to force some water droplets from my tear glands, but it's not working too well...Think I'm too tired to make anything in my body work =P...Maybe tomorrow, I'll try again...Haha...Until next time...Later days =P.
Secret #4: I might have wanted to cry because of the movie...But maybe it was because of remembering when I watched it the first time...

Nostalgia

So today was a pretty okay day...Each day that passes, I feel like not talking more though...*sigH* I dunno what's wrong with me...Maybe it's just because I'm tired, who knows. Sometimes I feel like I should have more friends, should be a little more social around everything that's going on. I have no good excuse to not to, but I guess I'm just a loser like that sometimes =P...Maybe one day I'll get the motivation to go up to someone and actually start a conversation...Haha...Yea right hey?

Anyway, there was a reason for my post title to be "Nostalgia"...Yes there is a point...Stfu to all you who doubt my sense of logic! Okay, moving on...I talked to Fang last night...Until 1 in the morning. I just started talking to her again, recently, and it was really nice to say the least. Although I haven't seen her for...Lets see...Grade 5...Grade 12...Around 7 years now, every time I talk to her, the gate of memories open up and all the moments that we spent together floods my mind. Every time I talk to her, I want to go back to Vancouver and see her again. I dunno why...I know a lot has changed in the past 7 years, but no matter how much time has passed, we always manage to hit it off like we've been talking to each other everyday...Maybe it's because she has a lot to say to me since we don't talk all the time and that's also why I have a lot to ask, but even so, I'm surprised at myself that this friendship hasn't gone to shits even after all this time. Out of all the relationships I've had, I think the friendship between Fang and I was the only one that's been able to come above the distance. Haha...Come to think of it, every year, I would make an effort into remembering her birthday, just so we would talk at least once a year...

I remember when I first met her in grade 4...I remember thinking she was one of the prettiest girls in my school and would look away with the reddest face every time we made eye contact. I don't even remember how I managed to start actually talking to her, but I do remember that the summer of 2001 was one of the best summers ever...I would go to her house almost everyday and play that stupid truth or dare Jinga...We never went out...I wish we had...I still sometimes wish that we can. She was the only girl that I've ever said, "I love you" to...I know, I know...Too young to blah blah blah...Even if I was an immature little brat...thinking back on it I don't regret saying it because I did feel that way...I think I still do from time to time.

I want to see her again...This summer maybe...Maybe even before that. I hope I'll be able to finally talk to her face to face after all these years because who knows how long it will be before we have the chance to see each other again...She makes me smile, but time after time, I have to snap out of the paradise that develops in my head and realize the hard cold facts that I'm in Calgary...I attend Henry Wise Wood...Maybe that's why I don't feel like talking more and more now...The realization of this always takes away what I want the most...To stay in that paradise...Perhaps just a little while longer...
Secret #3: I don't want to see her...I don't want to hear her...The truth is: It still hurts *sigH*

Random

Hmm...I'm not really sure what I'm gonna post today so I'm just gonna go for it...Once upon a time there was a hill. On top of the hill there was a monastery. In the monastery there was a BIIIG oak tree. Under the tree there were two monks...What were the monks doing?...Playing Ping-Pong!! That was amusing...Haha...So is badminton...And looking into someone's eyes...Going past the windows into their soul. All the memories and treasures lie there...Waiting for someone to share it with...
Secret Post #2: Sometimes I just want the awkwardness to stop, but I know things will be for the best if they remain the way they are...

Metamorphosis

Okay...So I should be doing the massive amounts of homework right now, but I really couldn't care less so lets do a blog xP.

A little caterpillar hatches from an egg. What would it feel like the moment it is born? He would have to experience the vastness of the world. He would have to adjust from being confined in the little egg that it once lived in. Time passes and he learns how to survive. Eat, sleep, goes to the washroom once in a while. But with its short little legs, it's unable to go anywhere far...Only able to look out into the horizon...Maybe it wishes one day it can see that horizon a little clearer...Experience the warmth that seems to be radiating from it, but never really close enough to feel it...Or maybe all the little caterpillar wants to do is to continue his daily routine of eating...sleeping and going to the washroom once in a while. Never the less, there will be a point in his life where the impulse of confining himself once again will develop. The trigger of change begins...He probably doesn't know why he must do it, just that he must. Working hard with all the energy he gained from when he was a little caterpillar, he spins a hard cocoon around himself. The process that goes on inside is hidden from the rest of the world...Is the little caterpillar still conscious? Does he know what he's going to become? I imagine it would be pretty scary preparing to face something that he has never experienced before...But even so, he does this...Why? Maybe because it's an instinct, maybe it's a desire, I don't intend to answer that. As the moon appears and disappears again and again, the cocoon begins to crack...Something is about to come out...Something...Different. Giant wings with splendid patterns will first emerge from the cocoon followed by the tiny little body. Once again the little caterpillar...Butterfly looks around him, wondering what has changed since the last time he saw the light of the world. He stares into the horizon and to his surprise, the giant wings carry him towards it. Moment by moment, he comes closer and closer to the beautiful sun...Drifting Away to his dreams...
Hmm...I think I'm going to post some secret messages starting today. I wonder if anyone is going to notice this at all...It'll be quite interesting. Here goes...I couldn't figure out why I kept on trying...But now I know: I loved her too much.

Tattoo

With regards to Hadi's comment...I agree. But I don't know if anything is going to change. I dunno what I'm doing right now...Probably going with my gut. That's mostly what I can rely on...

Moving on, I'm gonna post up a new song! YAY...It has been too long. Well a good friend sent it to me a while ago and it's pretty catchy, but I think the lyrics are what won me over. I think a lot of people will be able to relate. Hope you guys enjoy it...Notice how I hotlinked the word "lyrics" to the lyrics?? Hey? Eh? Yea...I did it again, amazing huh? =P.

Tug of War

*sigH* Once again my mind is swirling with thoughts that don't want to leave me alone. I was trying to sleep it away, but that was to no avail. Might as well post it now I guess...

Recently, I've been trying to do something different...Getting to know more people, thinking about all the good things that come by and treasuring every moment of it...It hasn't been two weeks and I'm already so tired of trying. I guess some could say I was trying to "fall in love" again, but it occurred to me today that I'm just running away. One of my biggest beliefs is that people should face their difficulties, but I guess I can't always stay true to my belief. The truth is, I'm trying to move on. Trying to put together my life again. Find my way back on the path that I enjoyed traveling on before a giant truck knocked me unconscious. When I woke up, I found myself lost, not knowing what to do. I could remember everything that happened, the good times, the bad times and as I go through my album of memories, often I stumble upon the instant when the truck hit me. It hurts no less now than it did the moment it happened. This is why I want to run away. This is why I want to say, "fuck it" and just leave. One way, I figured, is to put myself into another crowd of people. New people that I wasn't close to so all there would be is fun and laughs and I wouldn't be reminded of the past. Then I went one step further than I should have...I tried to satisfy the emptiness in my heart and it was exciting when it first happened. The sense of the unknown, the element of surprise made me forget. I would have liked this to continue forever...But as I got involved more and more, I realized what I was getting myself into...The same thing, the same cycle...At that moment, the trust and dependence that I've been working so damn hard to build up collapsed right in front of me.

What happened during the past couple of week was a good distraction...A good scenery route that I will remember for a while, but it's time to get back on track. I need to do myself good and get over this thing. I dunno how though...How do you do one thing when your heart cringes at the thought? Maybe I'm not strong enough...But no matter how hard it is, how difficult it is to face, I absolutely have to do it...Alone...As always. This isn't to say I'm going to say fuck off to everyone, but I'd rather keep to myself for a while again...Please don't act like Du and freak out about me not being a friend every time I decide I don't want to freaking talk for 5 minutes...Just let me take my time, I always do come around.

I have no idea how many times I've ranted about this shit...But once again it's bugging the shit outta me so *sigH* here goes...

She seems happier now a days...I wouldn't know why, I don't really want to find out, but for some odd reason, it's easier to see her happy...At least a smile on her face. No matter how much I blame her, no matter how much hate has taken over me, I can't help but care. Maybe it's because of the past, maybe I'm just a big sissy, who knows...There are times where I see her alone and the urge to go over and comfort her takes me over, but just as many times, I force myself to look away, to step aside. I'm not going to lie, I think about the friendship between her and me every day. I wonder how she's doing, I wonder how things will turnout by the end of the year. But no matter how many times these sentimental feelings pass me, there is always the other part of me that takes over and I end up walking away...Maybe because I'm afraid of getting hurt again, maybe it's because I can't find it in myself to forgive again, but whatever reason it is, I know neither of she nor I will attempt to do anything about it. I have thought about this many times through my head and I think this contributes to one of the biggest reasons why, I, am not doing anything. For some twisted reason I figure it's better off for both her and me if we stayed apart...First, I won't be in the position to getting hurt again and second, she won't have to feel bad or conflict with herself for doing what she wants to do because of me. This could very well be an excuse, but none the less, it makes sense. Every night, I go to sleep hoping these feelings can just pass and everything can be "normal" again, but everyday I wake up finding myself disappointed because nothing has changed at all...I still care for her...I still try to do things to see her happier, whether it's conscious or subconscious...One thing that I know I have to do is that...I will never approach her and I will always stay back to look after her...

Okay...Feeling quite a bit better now that this idiocy is out of me. Hopefully things will get better...If not...There's plenty of room on Blogspot to post another pathetic rant of Jak's =P. (I wonder if the people in Google read these things...) Anyway...Until next time...Later days =P.

Fatigue

I'm so fucking tired, I think I'm gonna turn into a big bear and go hibernate...*snore* *snore*

Edit: OMG that's supposed to be a bear! Fuck it...Big black blob is good too...

Blood

So I went to donate blood today. Second time and I got to have soup this time xD. Was pretty glad that I actually got a full bag today since last time I barely got half done. Hadi tagged along and I was pretty glad that he did. It's pretty nice having someone there...The idea of knowing there's someone there if anything happens is...satisfying. Comfort...I like. Anyway, next time Hadi will be old enough to do it too. What a great birthday present xP...Surprisingly, it's rather painless...even though the needle is kinda big and the way it wiggles around in your tiny vein...XD. I'm gonna stop here before anyone gets freaked out and don't want to donate blood any time in the future. It's quite nice, knowing that your blood can save some lives.

My parents are freaking out though >.>. Making me everything in their Asian knowledge to "restore" my blood level -.-''. Although I know their intension is well...They're overreacting a little bit...Just a little bit. Haha...Parents right? Can't expect less...I think I'll put another song on soon...Haven't found one that's caught my attention recently though so...Yea...Until next time...Later days =P.

Another Beginning

Sometimes, as I walk around the school, I see flowers that bloom and catch my attention. Sometimes I want to go pick it up and smell it, other times I just want to watch it as it wavers in the wind. Once in a while I see a special flower that makes me think it's spring again...The refreshing feeling passes through me and it feels like everything that happened before doesn't matter. I think this special flower has appeared once again in my life...

Games

I've grown up playing video games. I don't regret it, I treasure it. Although I've stopped recently due to lack of interest and time, I still play this one game that you can't win in. Human emotion and thoughts are the obstacles, pleasure and satisfaction are the rewards. There are no cheats, but there are ways of learning without experiencing. Everyone plays this game, no one really knows the objective...Death is the "easy" mode, so challenge yourself by playing the hardest level of this game: Living.

Surprises

Surprises are nice...Surprises that you like are even better. Wong came to my work today. She was in my school last year, but she's in UC now. I always knew of her, but never really approached her. It was nice seeing her though...So I think she finally knows my name and we had a nice chat =P. It's funny how I never talked to her when we were in the same school, but I get the chance to do so now that she's gone...That's all for now...Later days =P.

Chillax

It's been a while since I've actually chillaxed, but in the past 24 hours, life has been pretty good to me. Starts with yesterday when I finally went to badminton club for the first time in almost 2 months. It was a lot of fun. I was pretty excited to see how well my training has paid off and to my surprise, I was able to put everything I learned together and it just seemed to flow. I'm praying that I can keep doing what I did consistently and improve even more because the intramurals are coming up and I'm pretty pumped for it. Despite everything that's been on my plate lately, badminton has been my savior. Feels good.

Today, I went out with a few friends. It was a lot of fun...Haha...I'm smiling right now as I think back on it. No worrying about anything, just being a teenager. Doesn't happen very often as of late, but today, it was amazing. We first went to UC and talked about registering. I, personally, am not going to even apply for UC because I refuse to stay here any longer, but it was nice seeing the campus again. Brings back some memories of when I went there last year with Hadi and a couple others. Anyway, after we went to UC, we went to KFC because Qian had a whole bunch of coupons there (Yes, she's Asian =P). We bought a whole shit load of KFC chicken and stuff, and some part of me wanted to treat my friends, so I did. 25 pieces of chicken, not even a piece of skin left when we were done with it. Haha...I haven't enjoyed eating with people for so long, it was quite refreshing. After we stuffed our selves with chicken goodness, we went to TD Square and window shopped for a bit. I saw some things that I really liked. There are some nice clothes that's out there...Just the prices are intensely expensive, but I guess everything comes with a price. By the end of everything, I was tired as hell and started heading home. Lim live near me so we took the same bus home. She fell asleep on my shoulder for a while...Even though I don't feel anything more than friendship for her, it was pretty cute. I was supposed to wake her up when we got to our stop, but...I kinda fell asleep and she was the one that woke me up v.v...I felt a bit stupid, but hey, I can't stop the almighty Sandman. All in all, it was a pretty amazing day...(I dunno how many times I've used 'amazing'). Nice group of friends, laughing and joking around, without any drama talk.

Regarding Universities. I'm pretty much settled on UBC for now...If I get in, I'm definitely going...A part of me really want Qian to come with me, but another part tells me she wants to go somewhere else. It'll be pretty sad if we do our separate ways, but I'll probably treasure this friendship for a while...It may not be as deep and sentimental as my other ones, but somewhere inside, I feel comfort when I think about this friendship. Sometimes I do wish that I can really get to know her, but I figure this mutual distance is really what keeps things...Good...For a lack of a better word.

One last thing: I thought if I made a blog, I would have a lot of things to say...I dunno why, but that's what I thought...Seeing as how each of my posts are a week or so apart...This isn't really the case. From now on, I think I'm going to try to post maybe a sentence or two everyday, depending on everything. This way, I might be able to get more things off my chest instead of waiting until something "big" happens every time. So until then...Later days =P.

Busy --> Bear

Damn...It's been so long since I've last posted something of actual content. It's been so busy lately. I didn't think grade 12 would be so bad, but guess what...It is. It's good though, all these things keeping me occupied keeps me from thinking too much about the superficial things that life so generously dishes out one after another. I've started on everything a little bit though...So I'm doing a little better making useful time. Hopefully in a week or two, I'll be done with applying for University and I can concentrate on doing my I.A. and E.E...Hmm...If I play my cards right, I might even be able to finish them before the deadlines! School...Work...Extracurricular...I'll be able to manage everything hopefully. There are still a lot of time that I spend shitting around so there's still hope xP.

On another topic, Hamlet's been pretty interesting. The outlook on life is very interesting. I think if I had a best friend, it'd probably be Hamlet...Except I'd teach him to speak normal English because I can't understand that "art" all that well. Haha....But seriously, what is the point of life? No matter what you do, you'll still end up dead eventually. Yet everyday, a lot of people whine about it, cry about it, but they don't do anything about it. Rather they mope and sulk hoping to get the attention that they think will make them feel better. Which works a lot of the times. Everyone wants to be accepted, to be wanted, needed because it's what gives us a purpose in life. It allows us to think that we're worth something and that our existence is not in vain. It's a pretty good reason, I think. Fair, true, justified, but there are better ways to prove your existence is worth something other than sulking. Do something with your life, change something to make things better, depend on YOURSELF. Instead of wasting your time trying to fit in with the "popular" group, concentrate on what's important right now...How about school? How about family? People that try so hard to be accepted just ticks me off...Useless fools. To be truthful, I've sulked a lot in the past...Sometimes to get the attention that will make me feel better, but there were other times that I just couldn't help myself. But that's how I learned...I realized one day that it doesn't make things better. It's good to know that there are people who care, but in this life time, it really depends on myself. Make everyday productive, make every hour useful, make every minute count, make every second of your life happy; because if there's no point in life, might as well spend a pointless life content and happy.

Depending on myself has occasionally given me the feeling of loneliness...I'm slowly getting used to it though. There are those few who I know I can turn to when it's needed and that's all that I need, to know that they're there. The general feeling of that comfort alone is enough for me to be able to move on with life. I think I've been able to move past the idea of being accepted, which took me only about 17 years, but none the less feels good. I guess because I'm human, I can't stop caring...There are many times when I see things happen and have the biggest urge to ask them what's wrong, but I force myself out of it. It's not my business...Haha...Come to think of it, everyone seem to have at least one or two other people they can turn to and a couple of days later, they're back to themselves again and at least in appearance they seem better. Some people might say, appearance doesn't show anything, but I say otherwise. Who can really do a sincere smile when they don't feel a little bit happy? Who can bring out the slightest true laughter when they're drowning in their sorrows? So really, when people do smile and laugh, there is happiness inside somewhere and the more they show on the outside, the more it reflects their feelings inside. I probably don't care as much as I "should", but meh, spin me around and slap me twice, it probably won't change anything, but at least it'll be fun while you take your frustrations out =P.

One last thing...Busy...Busy...Busy...I think I still care about her a lot...The only difference now is...The disappointments and hurts now balances it out so that I still will not do anything...Busy...Busy...Busy. Peace v-.-

Ugh

I got egged today while walking home...Fucking assholes

As Time Passes

Tick..Tock...The clock strikes 11:11PM. Time goes by pretty quickly...People always have things to do, places to be and other people to be with. Sometimes, it's nice to have some time by yourself, but other times, company is enjoyable too. Is one better than the other? In general, no, but everyone's opinion's different, so I tend to just accept that and stop questioning it. Time is a thing that constrains us from the things that we want to do because of the things that we need to do during this allotted time frame. How can we prioritize? Based on our future would be the response for most parents, but if you think about it, if you're not enjoying yourself now, doing things you don't want to do so the future is better, how do you know what enjoying something is would feel like in the future? We can't change the past, we can't predict the future, so the only thing that we can be certain of is the present. The here and now. So enjoy it. Present becomes past, future becomes present and....future future becomes future -.O''.

Okay...So that was a lot of ranting about nothing =P. But time is passing by pretty fast. I don't know how long it's been since that, but it seems pretty long ago...Don't know really what's happening with anything anymore...Not that I really mind. I mean, I hear things, see things because they're there, but really what's the point of getting involved...Just adds stress to life...Besides, there are more important things right now...I need to get a start on scholarships, finances, and finding a way to get outta here. As of now...Just gonna occupy my time with things...Thinking maybe soon I'll stop thinking about high school stuff all together. Occupy my time with work, badminton, tutoring and maybe bits of school. Oh yea, probably gonna go to the gym at school too. Of course, by doing all this, I've been getting further and further away from people at school...It's weird though...Everyone seems happier when you don't know much about them. Haha, ignorance is so bliss. Everyone probably has more problems as the school year goes on, but when you don't put the effort into knowing, it doesn't seem so. Yea yea, I'm a jerk, but am I really for just minding my own business? I don't feel like pursuing something when it's not gonna matter and people just get pissed because I'm being too "nosy". I'll listen if the situation allows it, I'll sympathize/empathize when the situation presents it, but it just doesn't seem to change anything even when I try so hard to "be there" because ultimately, the choice is the individuals.

Anyway, wth was I talking about? Pisses, I'm so random today. Oh yea, time. One good thing about time, it helps fix things. It mends wounds, allows growth and other things that I can't think of. It also helps adapting to unfamiliar and uncomfortable habitats...Like loneliness. Loneliness is pretty hard to deal with. Hurts in the beginning, confusion in the middle, but once you get used to it, it's not that bad. There are still times where...Ah...I think I'm gonna peace for today...Talked to Fang again...The feeling's nice...Later days =P

Snow

The first major snow of the year...It's always nice to see the white sheets cover everything, but seeing is a little different than experiencing...I'm going to go out of my house tomorrow and instantly regret stepping out of my cozy haven that I call home...I know it.

I think it's been a while since I've posted again...I would like to post more, but I've just been a little busy recently. Last week, I wasn't home until at least 9:30pm every night except Thursday. I wasn't supposed to get home later that night either, but thank goodness I forgot about my blood donation appointment and had some rest or I would of collapsed. This weekend was okay though...Went to work on Saturday and found out that it's just me and my manager that works at Personally Yours now...I'm going to cry. I feel bad for her because she's been working like 12 hour shifts, but there isn't much I can do...I'll have to go in tomorrow though...for an hour while she's interviewing someone. Hopefully she doesn't take too long to get some more employees because I don't want to do any more work than I can handle...But I guess I'm just going to have to rough it out until she finds some people.

So since going to badminton for a bit on Friday, I think I'm going to have to start helping out...I want to be there, but I just don't have the time. Probably going to have to get someone to do the things I want...Possibly Hadi, but he has enough shit to deal with, so I'm not sure...Next Friday's the Friday I was supposed to have off...But due to the lack of employees...I think I'm gonna have to work again...*sigH* Gonna have to apologize to Du and hopefully people will start helping her out. This would be a lot easier if I didn't care -.-''. Maybe just for a bit though...Du seems to be stressing out about it a little bit, so maybe be her support for a while before ditching again xP.

Next week's gonna be tough...Need to start working hard again...I just don't have the time, but I guess that's my fault. I'm gonna start spending every waking minute doing something productive now...As soon as I start slacking off, everything seems to catch up to me. Hmm...French is a pain in the ass...I think I'm gonna try to get Garen to stop giving us so much work...It's impossible to get anything useful done in that class, but he's a nice guy none the less...So have to give props to him for that...

Jay's new album finally came out. I wouldn't say it's a disappointment, but just like snow, there are its good and bads. Some of it I really enjoy, but others just doesn't seem like he wrote the songs...Speaking of songs...The song that I wanted to write is almost done...I need one more verse and I think I'm going to put my own music to it...I've been practicing piano recently and hopefully if I practice enough, I'll be able to put something together. I know it's just extra on my plate, but I love music so...I think it's going to be worth it...

Romance...Haha...Maybe I'm just looking for something that's not really there, but you never know...Someone might surprise me one day xP.

Note to self: Start pulling your shit together Jak v.v

Later days =P.

The Unspeakable Secret

Wow, it's almost been a week since I've posted anything...Is there a reason? Probably not, but I feel like there is one hidden in the back of my mind. This week has been fairly fast going, productive I guess. The first three days of the week went by like a jet, especially since we had Wednesday off. I forgot what happened Thursday and Friday completely...haha. Hmm...On Monday...I forget, on Tuesday I played badminton, which was good. Wednesday...I got ditched after I ditched and the weekend began...My long, facinating weekend that went by way too fast. I don't want to go to school tomorrow, but I guess I'll have to. Back into the dreaded atmosphere of routine and drama. *sigH* It's okay though, only 242 days left...It's slowly dwindling down...I wonder if I'll miss my classmates when I leave...I've been wondering about that for a long while now...Still don't seem to have come to a conclusion as of yet....Maybe one day soon though...Maybe.

Badminton's getting more and more fun everyday. Every time I get out of my chair, I want to hold a racket and practise something because I know I still have a long way to go before I'm able to complete with anyone to a great extent. But it keeps me from doing stupid things, saying stupid things so I really appreciate it. It's like a remedy to all my worries, as soon as I'm holding a racket, everything goes away and it's time to play. I'm not sure if I'll get good enough to get a medal at cities this year, but hopefully, my hard work will pay off someday...Even though, I wouldn't mind at all if it didn't since badminton as already done so much for me. I have 9 more classes left, next one on Tuesday, I can't wait to try out my new backhand... as a great man once said, "When you can backhand smash, you will be sexy." He was probably Asian because well...I'd like to think so =P.

This weekend was quite nice, got a few things done. Got the present for Keay, which I'm very happy with, and is on the verge of getting my library card. Yea.. After 5 years in Calgary, I'm finally gonna get a library card...Mostly forced because of the EE and IA, but I guess it doesn't hurt to open a book once in a while. Today I tutored English. I like helping people. Especially teaching, I found out. Whether it's coaching badminton, going through the steps in a Math problem or finding ways to make English easier to learn, it's fun. In the end, I end up helping someone else and once in a while get a "Thank you". It feels nice when you feel appreciated...but that's another topic for another time.

Now to come to the title of this blog. No I don't intend to tell anyone a secret, rather it's a movie that I watched this weekend. It's directed and played by Jay Chow and after watching it, my respect for him has once again rose from that sudden claps when I heard his new album. It's a great movie that mixes romance with fantasy. A love story that fits in perfectly with how I picture love to be. How many times, I've gone through the same scenarios over and over again. It's like having my thoughts on the big screen. I love this movie. It made me realize my true self once again. Why I'm a hopeless romantic and why I'll probably never change that part of me. It also gave me some hope for myself, even though it was a movie. None the less, it's good to know that there are other people in this world that still haven't given up on romance. The female actress was also amazing. She was extremely pretty and gave a sense of playfulness that just rings through your head days after you've watched the movie. Anyway, I'm not going to go through every detail of the movie just in case it somehow makes its way to North America, but I'd like to share a little melody from the movie. It probably won't have the same effect for you guys as it did to me, but I think it's nice. It's called Angel and it doesn't have lyrics so all the better.

Think that's gonna be all for today. I'm very glad my heart doesn't feel like it's being stabbed by a thousand needles anymore. Hopefully someday soon it'll be back to the way it was...Later days =P.

Another Day

Haven't posted in a while...I think haha. Not much wanna say right now, but listening to the radio today and found a good song that I wanna put up. Tongue Tied by Faber Drive. The lyrics are here...You just click on the blue words and it'll take you there! I know...pretty amazing...also notice I made "lyrics" the link...Smart isn't it? Since this is an English s...OMG, it's an English song!!! This is amazing isn't it. Me, listening to English songs...Amazing.

Haha, anyway, drew a little comic today, might put it up sometime soon because it's pretty cool...Might start drawing some comics every now and then and one day put them all up...It'll be a time line of my drawing and how it improves (hopefully) overtime =P. Wait...I'm reading over this little post and it seems like I didn't complete what I was gonna say earlier...Yea...well, it's too late now xP.

Okay...Think I'm done for today. Hope you guys enjoy the song. Later days.

Song...Again

Here's the song that I said I would put up. Have a little free time today...That's all...It's the second song on the playlist. Hope you guys like it haha. Later days =P.

When you are on the other side of the mountain range,
I am walking on the lonely road without a destination.

How many “Not enough time” is there in one life time.
Realizing that the most important thing is already gone.

Understanding has already left long ago.

Why is it always that after something wrong has been done,
that we finally realize it’s our fault?

They say that this is life.

Trying to experience, trying to hold back the tears.

But still can’t avoid the feelings that’s suppose to happen.

I won’t ask the world to stop spinning

I know being naughty won’t change anything

But during this short time, especially at night,

Can’t help but remember the memories that are so hard to forget.

I think my missing you is some sort of disease.

Forever, things can’t fully recover.

When you are on the other side of the mountain range,
I am walking on the lonely road without a destination.

Often, feeling your breath behind my ear.

But actually not feeling the breath in my heart.

Hurriedly

Forgetting that the people around needs love and care.

Excuse is always the distance growing

Unconsciously, silently.

We’re always complaining contrary to what is expected,

Not wanting to look turn around and look at ourselves.

Wondering about the truly stupid matters that we’ve done.

Maybe it’s God giving me a trail love.

Only, this wound needs some time.

Only, will remember everything in the past.

Those human affairs will leave far away from me,

The hatred within us will also part…
Turn into memories.

Oh missing is a type of disease
Oh missing is a type of disease…type of disease

How long has it been since I said I love you?

How long has it been since you’ve held the one you love?

When this world has stop getting anymore beautiful,

Only love can make it better.

I believe there will be enough time.

Don’t worry about those troubling things

Don’t let unhappiness keep you from moving

Just afraid you won’t say, just afraid you won’t do.

Don’t let regret continue, there will be enough time.

Need a Break

*sigH* Finally home from work. That bloody cash register...I swear if it had arms it would hold me prisoner at that place forever and ever. Took me fucking 45mins to close! I'm gonna take that damn register, smash it to pieces, glue it back together then do it again Wasting my time...fucking thing. But none the less, I got over with it, with the help of Nourian...Yes, a little depressing, but still, I'm sure next time around it won't take that long...I'm just a slow learner.

Anyway, shits been pretty shitty lately. I realized I say stuff from time to time that I regret later on...Ever had that happen to you? Yea, it's like emotions just blind you and you just start rambling on and on about everything, but after some time, while you were snacking on a Teen Burger from A&W, you realize how much of an idiot you were. Yea, sometimes, I'm such a fruit, makes me sad. But seriously, life's a pretty big bummer right about now. Old friends are gone, good friends are going and new friends just won't come. I've always been the one that doesn't really care much about friendship, well I care, just not getting too emotionally attached to anyone so in the end, it hurts a little less. Still do think this way, but there are those friends that do get too close to and in the end, I can't let go. I keep telling myself it's pathetic, it's useless. I've tried accepting it, understanding it, avoiding it, but for some reason, it just lingers on to me, not wanting to let go. Currently, I'm faced with a pretty hard situation...To me at least. It's been hard from the beginning, but somehow I've always managed to convince myself that I'm doing the right thing. This time, I'm not so sure. Now before I get into this further, I want to let people know that I'll be dealing this on my own. Please, don't get involved. I need to do this on my own. It's about time I've learned to do these things and when people help me, it just makes me feel better, but not actually solve the problem. I need to solve this thing now. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon because I can't take it anymore. I arrive at school everyday, just to have that feeling of wanting to go home. I just want everything to work out. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I will. I have to. The truth of the matter is not that I can't let go because it's physically impossible to, it's because I don't want to. How long as it been...almost two weeks...wow, only two weeks...It seems a lot longer to me. Every moment that passes by seems like hours at a time. I think about it, I feel bad about it then I'd get angry about it, by then I'll probably be depressed too. Then I'll think about it some more, come to a logical conclusion and for a while, I'll be okay. It's been a hell cycle to me. I don't know what to do...I really don't. But I do know one thing though...I miss her.

Collins told me something today...My feelings show, I don't hide it well. It's probably true, when I'm feeling like shit, it's kind hard for me to fake a smile. I do it from time to time, but it's difficult. Maybe I should try harder. If people are willing to believe, that means I should be willing to do right? Yea, it makes sense. I just need to chillax...Take a few days off, enjoy the view...I need to go to my river again. Oh yes...my place of....everything. It's been so long since I've been there. I need to go again. This weekend, I'm going to go. Watch the water flow, feel the wind blow, listen to the birds sing and just get lost in the beauty of nature. I want to say I want someone to come with me, but I don't really know who...Everyone seems so distant now...So far away...Ah well...I guess I can ask around who's free this weekend. Making an effort never hurts....haha...

Hmm, it seemed like I had a lot to rant about when I was thinking of blogging today. Guess all that time spent selling crap and putting up prices took all that anger and confusion away. I was going to put up a song today, but I'm too lazy and too tired to do that...next post, I promise. With lyrics too (translated of course) for my English speaking friends.

Until then...What to do...What to do...*Spaces out*

Disease

Saturday, 8:01PM...Status: Bored. Once again, I am here in my place of solitude to get somethings off my chest. I REALLY should be doing my English project, but I just can't start. I don't want to write about the book, I don't want to look for lines that I can use as evidence because frankly, I don't see a point to it. I like English...Never thought I'd say this, but yes, it's interesting. The ideas, concepts are all very interesting, but I don't want to do it to get marks. I want to do it when I feel like writing. When I feel like dissecting the little bits and pieces of literature to understand something better. Isn't this how all great literature come by? Through inspiration and instinct rather than forced analysis of something? I know it's for our own good, but I can't help think there is some better way to approach this. Never the less, I'm going to have to start soon. Right after this post...Probably going to have get someone to help me too because when I start writing it, I'm at a loss for words because there's so much I want to say. Ever have that happen to you? Yea, it sucks something else.

Anyway, today I experienced stress...Yes I know amazing, it has been quite a while since I've actually been stressed. No, it's not my English, History or any of that school crap. I was driving my sister to piano. And no, I wasn't stressed because I don't know how to drive. I got there fine. Just the moment when I realized I forgot to bring my driver's license freaked me out a little bit. Yea, for the first time since I got my license, I forget to bring it and it HAS to be when my parents aren't home so if anything did happen I was going to be in so much shit, that when I got out of it, I would of reeked for a good latter part of my life. That caused me a little bit of stress. Good news is I got home fine without any copman come after me. Relief...

So while I was procrastinating today, talking to some people online, I realized something. (I know this is a horrible transition of topics, but STFU). You know how when you meet someone new and is getting to know them, people generally have tons to say? About their experiences, stories, yada yada? Yea, I realized, I have nothing to say. The natural flow of conversation just doesn't come to me anymore. To some extent, I couldn't care less. I don't talk much to anyone anyway, so what's the big deal right? But then what if someday I really wanted to get to know this cute girl I met at some random party? What do I say then? "Uh...So...Wanna tell me about yourself?" No, you know why? Because it sounds so dumb that I wanna just shoot myself in the foot get it amputated then use my foot to hit myself on the head. *sigH* What's wrong...where has all the social skills that I should have developed throughout my life gone to? Maybe when I pick who I want to get to know, I'll choose someone who doesn't stop talking...That way, I won't have to talk! Just have to stay awake while the person goes on...and on....and on...and yea.

Anyway, my point is! Haha, yea there's a point...People, I'm sorry if I don't talk to you that much about anything. It's not that I don't like you, in most cases, it's because I have nothing to say. You can be the most wonderful person in the world, but all the same, I still won't have shit to say to you. Depressing, but I've come to terms with it. I apologize for not "being a good friend" or "being a jerk", I really do, but when I try too hard with these things, it just gets really awkward and no one likes awkwardness right? Phew, that feels a little better...Now time to start on my BLOODY ENGLISH!!! Later days =P.

Step...Step

Okay...So as for that post I said I would put up very soon...yea, here it is! Yea...It took a while, but I've been kinda busy and really I should be doing my homework right now. But I've reconsidered my priorities for the next 10 mins into blogging because chemistry has taken a shit load out of me and now I'm tired.

Anyway, my parents are gone for the weekend. Some religious thing to Red Deer...Yea...Don't ask me, I have no freaking clue why or when they became so dedicated as to leave my sister and me home alone for 3 days. I don't really mind though, it's a break from listening to their constant bitching at each other. Have a shit load to do though, on top of my homework at this. Pick sister up, drop sister off, give her medicine, feed her...god, it's like taking care of a pet...except one that'll annoy the hell outa you if you don't do what it wants. Ah well, I guess spending some quality time with the lil sis won't be so bad. Might be fun xP.

School's been pretty shitty lately, all the English is catching up, failing History and just don't really wanna deal with all that shit anymore. Still counting down...still slow. Just gotta take it one step at a time. Relationships with people have really changed though. It's like I tried too hard and just ran out of steam since I was running against an invisible wall. All is for the best I suppose. People change and move apart, way of life haha.

Should probably get back to doing some work again...Gonna post a picture for this blog. Maybe I'll start putting a picture up for some posts. It seems like a good idea, makes everything a little more...more...well, think you know what I'm saying. Later days.

Song Dedication

There is always some sort of chance.

Like when I met you at first glance.

Those kind, sparkling set of eyes

Appeared in my dreams without lies.

My love is just like a wandering cloud.

In your sky there is no room to halt.

How I wish to turn to pure raindrops.

To completely soak the soil in your heart.

No matter how the future turns out,

At least, we’re happy as of now.

No matter how things come to an ending,

As long as you’re the one I’m missing.

I won’t take it as a game,

Because my love is true and there’s no shame.

Always there are things I’m afraid to mention,

Afraid that you’ll go into decision.

I took the selfish, feelings out of sight,

And hid them into the night.

My love is just like a piece of boat,

In your sea there’s nowhere to float.

Always searching for a beautiful harbour,

Hoping to not drift and wander forever.

No matter how the future turns out,

At least, we’re happy as of now.

No matter how things come to an ending,

As long as you’re the one I’m missing.

I don’t care how the future makes its way,

But I want to see you everyday.

I don’t care how the conclusion will be due,

I really want to be together with you.

If you up until now you still don’t believe

It’s okay, don’t worry, I’ll quietly leave.

Tired...Getting Tireder

11:36Pm and I'm still not in bed...what's wrong with me? Nothing, except I'm very tempted to write a blog xP. Let's start with yesterday...Went to play badminton, that was a lot of fun. To be truthful, it's the only time where I'm having fun and free. Just letting things go, not worrying about anything, just running around and doing something I love. Same thing happens when I'm playing games. It's just a way to cross into a world of fantasy, to relinquish my feelings, thoughts and just go with it. Feels nice, although it doesn't last. Lee showed up at badminton, for her brother, but brought the grad video camera...yea. Like many times before, when she shows up, I get this rush of adrenalin. I dunno why, I dunno how, it just always happens. Feel the blood pump right through me. Feel like I can jump higher, smash harder, run faster, but then just like many times before, God slaps me in the face by pulling my calf. Maybe it's a sign...like the many signs I've kept on receiving, but I chose not to follow them. What can I do about it, like I've said many times, to do the right thing, sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want the most. I really don't want to care anymore, just let it all go, forget everything, anything, have a new start, but I can't, not now at least. Just gotta do what feels right, until they all leave...It's started already, I just for some reason, think it's for the better. Just one more year though, I think I can start a new journey by then.

Friends, another topic that I've wanted to talk for quite a while now. I'm sure we've all had them, good ones, bad ones, but one thing that's a commonality between all of them: They leave. No matter how much they say they care, they all end up leaving. Now, I'm not saying I don't think friends are necessary. Of course they are, they'll be there for you when you need it, have good times when it's there and make the best of things when everything looks like it's all going to shit. Friends are great, everyone needs them...but I for one, will not create bonds that's been forged so tightly so that when it breaks, it feels like you've just been torn in two...again. I think the best thing to do is to just be a myself. I've been trying really hard at it xP. Help people out when they want it, treat them as a friend during the times you know each other and just keep it at that. Life's really not that bad. Shit happens, but if you just take a look at the big picture, occupy yourself from thinking about the unthinkable, it doesn't hurt as much. I don't think I'll ever truly understand how much life means until one day I experience the near death experience, to be in a position where you're about to leave everything you have, to loose everything that you care about. That moment will be the true moment that will allow you to see how wonderful life really is. How much you should treasure it because there's only one life. I think I've got my fingertips on the idea because my friend has endured that, but other than that bit of experience in my life, I'm still just a child, waiting for the spanking so I can finally wake up from the silly dream I'm living in called "Teenage".

Well, that's about as emo as anyone can get. Haha, but it's nice getting shit down, even if it's writing. To be honest, I have a slight feeling of regret for writing this, hope no one thinks about this too much. It's just another one of my rants that I sometimes live by. Things will be okay, they always will be...It's just, I'm a little tired right now...getting tireder.

Beginning of October

Yay! First day of October...Haha, it's really not that special, but it's one day closer to graduation xP. Hmm...Feel like writing a blog today. Something to do after a long days worth of work...or should I say 4 freaking hours of bloody reading! I could of spent that time catching up on my history reading, but I must admit, the bits and pieces about the different types of metals and how they're made was quite interesting. Overall, I'm very glad I've started working again, feels like I'm finally doing something productive over the hours...ironically, the first thing I do from getting back is write a blog...hmm...Moving on, turns out I have to do a test on everything that I've read. Probably won't be that hard and open booked, but none the less it's a test and that just makes me twitch. My co-worker, which I will not mention as of yet since I don't know his last name, was quite nice. Not sure how old he was, but seems like a nice guy that knows how to have a good time. Went to WIC for high school so that's pretty interesting. He didn't like it much there...Snobby rich kids in an expensive private school...go figure.

Well that was my work day, but others things also happened today. I really feel like I should stop talking to people because sometimes I say things that just doesn't turn out the way I want them to. I think I've fixed it though, not sure. Hopefully Collins will just forget everything I mentioned and move on with life. It's none of my business. I should have never spoke of anything...but why do people keep bugging me about talking...gah the dilemmas! Ah well, another day, another adventure. Something interesting that did come up during Collins' conversation with me was of how she thought of things. Friends, drama, the importance and disappointment of it all. She seems to think that life is very complicated...but is it really? I dunno, maybe she's right because I can certainly see where she's coming from, but why can't we just go along with our daily lives without all the gossip and drama...avoid it, ignore it, forget it...Yea..forget it is right, no one can live without drama, it's too common and way to easy to get caught up in it. Anyway, I don't think I have a point here...but..."Wake up Call"! Haha...what a good song.

Think I'm done with today's thoughts...yep, I'm done..Later days =P.

First for Everything

Hey people...this is going to be my first blog. Hadi kinda influenced me and thought it would be a good idea to just get some shit off my chest. Well, if you're reading this, I probably know you and if I don't...well that thought's a little creepy, but that's okay, I'm willing to meet some weirdos here and there...as long as you just read this and not uh...yea, think you get where I'm going with this. Anyway, you can leave a comment if you want. I'm not expecting any, but one of these days, I may get a surprise =P.

Now that little intro is out of the way, today's gonna be a good day. Just woke up and got that long awaited phone call from Personally Yours and now I finally have a damn job! Finally, I'll be able to buy another badminton racket...get membership to a gym and pay McArthur his gas money...If I ever talk to him. My plan for busying myself is slowly coming to a start. Volunteering for tutoring Science for a little boy that goes to Beaverbrook. Probably won't do him much good seeing as how you can't learn if you aren't willing, but hey, it gets my CAS hours and it's getting his mom off his back so who's complaining. Now that the Job/Volunteer positions are complete, time to start working out again. Hoping Hadi will come with me, but that's a slightly unrealistic idea.

Wow...that was more ranting than I expected to begin with, but that's okay, more the merrier, haha. Hmm...Think that's good for now. Later days.